Saturday, August 19, 2006

I don't think I want to have a title for this entry. Had the Malaysian Open for men and women, Penang Open for women and the Sportexcel Grand Finals for the juniors. I was there for all the events and witnessed some good squash in the country, but I didn't feel any excitement at all. True that the Opens were world class events and the Penang one had a record number of people for the finals but I just wasn't excited. We also had the ST workshop in Penang for coaches and sdos at the same time as the tournament. We had to work out a 5 year plan for each state and I wasn't excited either. Nothing got me going so far this month. Think the routine and staleness getting to me more and more, day by day.

Been away to conduct coaching courses and will be away again soon for the same reason. But still not excited. Usually I am but not this time. Made a big boo-hoo at work today and screwed up the trust and friendship of very nice and dear friends. All for what? I don't know and have no answer. But it is something that I really am sorry and ashamed of. Wasn't any intention of causing any grief or hurt to anyone but it turned out otherwise. Very regrettable actions and I have to seriously take a step back and evaluate myself.

I watched Click the movie the other day and it makes me wonder why am I putting my life in what I do. Is this really worth it? What makes it worth it? Pays shit, no rest, no career advancements and so on. Worse of all, have to work with players who don't want to go the extra mile....Haizzz.

Have to face the reality of what I do and what I want to do in the next few months. May want to leave this profession totally or just move to somewhere else. Have no idea at the moment. Just gonna rough it out for the next 2 months tossing and turning to figure out what would be the best option for me. If I do leave, I'll leave with a heavy heart and that is for sure.

Till next time,


Had a few comments by some readers and I thank you for it. Btw, it is just one guy and not a few.....Hahaha. Enjoy.